Why Don’t Kids Want to Sleep Alone?

One of the most common problems parents face is that the child cannot sleep alone. Not being able to put the child in his own bed, not wanting to sleep alone in the child’s bed, being afraid, waking up frequently or grinding his teeth during sleep are among the problems encountered.

There may be physical and emotional reasons why your child cannot sleep alone. Especially in the first year after birth, the baby’s complaints, the noise and temperature of the environment, the mother’s relationship with the baby and the mother’s psychology directly affect the baby’s sleep. Every baby’s sleep habits and sleep needs are different. The baby needs to sleep 16 -17 hours in the first months.

What are the Causes of the Child Not Sleeping Alone?

There may be one or more reasons why your child cannot sleep alone. In the following subheadings, you can find reasons why a child cannot sleep alone.

Usually Occurs After 2 Years Old

The problem of the child’s inability to sleep alone often arises from the age of two. Problems such as the fears that the child has learned, sleepwalking problems, and teeth grinding may cause the problem of not being able to sleep alone. Children express their problems through their behavior. If your child is having trouble falling asleep, waking up frequently at night, and wetting the bed, it’s an indication that there is a problem.

Satisfying Relationship Problem

Your child may not want to leave the parent and go to their room and sleep. One of the important reasons for this is that the child does not have a satisfactory relationship with the parent. For example; If the child’s parents work late and the child spends time with the caregiver during the day, he or she misses the parents. This dissatisfaction can prevent the child from sleeping on his own.

Sleep Quality Deteriorates Due to Problems at Home

Unrest in the home causes your child to have trouble sleeping and not be able to sleep alone. In addition, the child’s jealousy of his sibling can also cause this problem.

Transition Object Problem

Since your child cannot sleep alone, he may want to keep certain belongings of his parents with him. This could be a blanket or a pillow that belonged to his mother. During the adaptation period, the child’s demand, which is expressed as a transitional object, should be met positively. After a certain time, the child will give up this object and will normally sleep alone.

Night Terrors Possible

There may be different reasons for the problem of speech and sleepwalking during sleep. In addition, one of the problems that poses a problem is night terrors. A night terror is a state of waking up with a severe panic attack a few hours after going to sleep. The child, who wakes up with night terrors, goes back to sleep after he has calmed down. The little one who is afraid of this situation may not want to sleep alone.

When Should I Separate My Child’s Bed?

Children should be accustomed to sleeping in their own room from the age of two. Pedagogues trained in this field state that the period of leaving the child’s room should not be postponed.

Gender perception occurs in children from the age of two. The sleep process is very important for the formation of this perception. When your child sleeps next to his parents, there may be various problems in the formation of this perception. The child who sleeps next to the parent from the age of two cannot get through this developmental stage in a healthy way. This causes different psychological problems in the future.

What are the Methods of Separating the Child’s Room?

After you decide to separate the child’s room, you may encounter resistance from your child. In order for the child to be put in a separate room, the parent must first feel determined and ready for this situation. Your child may try to dissuade you from this decision with cries or various coaxing. Your determination can reduce this resistance of the child.

You may witness that the child comes to you crying in the middle of the night. In this case, the child should be sent to his room by behaving convincingly. Waiting with your child until he/she sleeps in his/her own room (without sleeping next to him/her) helps to get through this process easily. The waiting period should be shortened every day until the child falls asleep.

Of course, it will be difficult for the child to sleep in another room, leaving the parents with whom he is accustomed to sleep. The parent, who is aware that the child needs to sleep in a separate room during the growth process, can easily get through this period.

What should be done for the child to sleep on her/his own?

There are very important measures that should be taken by the parent so that the child can sleep on his own. By applying these measures, it can be ensured that the child sleeps alone in time.

Make Your Child Feel Confident

Spending time with your child and reading fairy tales before bedtime builds a child’s sense of self-confidence. Children who have this confidence can go to bed on their own after a certain period of time.

Don’t Let Distracting Objects in the Room

There should not be computers, televisions or similar electronic devices in the child’s room that will distract him. Activities such as watching television in the child’s room, playing with the computer distract the child’s attention due to both sound and light. This makes it difficult to sleep.

Reduce Your Time in the Room

Before the child falls asleep, the parent must leave the room. In this way, the little one realizes that after a certain period of time, he can sleep without the need for parents. If you choose to stay in the room, you should be careful not to contact or talk to your child physically.

Time the Child Sleeping on Her/His Own Process

Do not pull away from your child immediately. After a certain period of acclimatization, prefer to leave the child alone. For example; You can stay with your child for 5-10 minutes each night in a standard way.

Be Consistent

If your child comes to your bed in the middle of the night, warn him to go back to bed immediately. Take care to be determined to go to bed without interacting with him. If you compromise on this issue, it will become more difficult for the child to sleep alone with each passing day.

Develop a Reward System

Establishing the reward mechanism is very important in the upbringing of the child. In this context, various rewards can be promised in return for your child sleeping in his/her own room. In this way, for a certain period of time, the child can be allowed to sleep on his own.

Making the Room Attractive

By making your child’s room attractive, the child can be persuaded to sleep in the room. In this sense, the room can be decorated with different toys or fun wallpapers, making it an environment that your child will like.