The Complete Guide to Sleep Training Your Baby

As a parent of a new baby, few things are more challenging or exhausting than trying to get your little one to sleep through the night. Sleepless nights resulting from frequent wake-ups can leave mom and dad feeling depleted.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, over 25% of 1-year-olds still wake multiple times per night needing their parents to soothe them back to sleep. This fragmented sleep can affect babies’ mood, development, and health. It also prevents parents from getting the rest they desperately need.

The good news is that sleep training can help babies learn to self-soothe and sleep for lengthened periods of time. With consistency and commitment, you can help your child develop healthy sleep habits and behavior.

In this comprehensive guide, we will explore some of the most popular and effective sleep training methods recommended by experts. Learn the basics of how each approach works, when to try it, and tips for making it successful.

What Are the Benefits of Sleep Training?

Before diving into specifics, let’s first go over some of the reasons sleep training is recommended and the advantages it can provide for babies and parents:

• Better nighttime sleep: Sleep training helps babies learn to fall asleep independently. This allows them to sleep for longer intervals without needing parental help to get back to sleep. Many babies begin sleeping through the night, typically defined as a 6 to 8 hour stretch, by 4-6 months of age with sleep training.
• Better naps: In addition to improving nighttime sleep, sleep training can also result in better quality daytime naps from your baby. Naps are critical for babies’ development and mood regulation.
• More consistent sleep schedule: Sleep training establishes a healthy routine and helps regulate babies’ circadian rhythms. When bedtime is at the same time each night, babies learn when it is time to sleep.

• Improved self-soothing skills: When babies use techniques like a pacifier, playing with their fingers or hair, or cuddling a blanket, it helps them learn to soothe themselves to sleep independently. These self-soothing skills are one of the major advantages of sleep training.
• Enhanced brain development: The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that critical brain development occurs during infant sleep. Improving babies’ sleep quality supports cognitive, emotional, and physical growth.
• Better mood and behavior: Well-rested babies are less prone to fussiness, crying fits, and other cranky behavior during daytime. Sleep promotes healthier mood regulation.
• More sleep for mom and dad: When babies sleep better at night, their parents can finally get some much-needed rest as well. Preventing parental sleep deprivation is hugely beneficial.

Now that you understand the multitude of benefits, let’s go over some proven techniques and methods for sleep training your little one.

Cry It Out Method

The “cry it out” method is one of the more established but controversial approaches to sleep training an infant. It involves putting your baby to bed fully awake at bedtime and allowing them to cry or fus until they eventually fall asleep on their own.

The cry it out method is based on the principle of teaching babies to self-soothe and promoting nighttime independence. While it can be difficult to listen to at first, many families find it effective within several nights.

When Can You Start Cry It Out Sleep Training?

Most experts recommend waiting until babies are at least 6 months old before beginning cry it out. By 6 months, infants sleep cycles and patterns begin maturing. Prior to this age, allowing babies to cry it out is not recommended.

Look for other signs of readiness that typically emerge around 6 months as well:

• Baby is able to fall asleep independently at bedtime some of the time.
• Baby sleeps through the night or only wakes once occasionally.
• Baby weighs at least 13 pounds and regularly eats solid foods. Able to go all night without feeds.
• Baby naps on a fairly predictable schedule.
• Baby is not currently ill or going through sleep regression.

Starting cry it out on the early side at 4-5 months is sometimes done, but proceed cautiously. Wait until at least 6 months if you have any doubts about timing.

How the Cry It Out Method Works

If you choose to sleep train using cry it out, here are the steps involved:

Establish a calming and soothing bedtime routine. A bath, massage, pajamas, song, story, etc. Routines signal to babies it’s time for bed.

Put baby in the crib fully awake. Say goodnight and leave the room. Some parents do a brief check-in or pat/shush before leaving.

Do not return to the room until morning. Ignore any crying, fussing, or other protests from your baby after leaving the room. No matter how difficult it is, do not go back in to soothe or comfort them.

Maintain the same waking time each morning. Keep morning wake-up time consistent, regardless of what time the baby fell asleep the night before. This helps regulate their schedule.

Repeat the process for naps. Use the same cry it out approach for daytime snoozes to practice self-soothing.

Crying may intensify initially the first night or two. But if you remain disciplined and consistent, babies eventually learn to soothe themselves and fall asleep independently. Crying should gradually diminish.

Pros and Cons of Cry It Out

Here are some of the main advantages and disadvantages of using the cry it out method:

Pros:

• Highly effective if done consistently – babies learn to self-soothe
• Sleep improvements often seen within several nights
• Doesn’t require as much parental effort after the first few nights
• Encourages babies falling asleep on their own at bedtime instead of needing to be rocked or fed to sleep

Cons:

• Very difficult for parents to listen to prolonged crying
• Stressful experience if baby cries intensely for many nights
• Not suitable for every baby’s temperament
• Potentially disruptive to breastfeeding routines
• Some controversy exists among professionals around allowing babies to cry

Tips for Making Cry It Out Successful

• Remain extremely consistent. Stick to the same bedtime routine every night.
• Pick a time when your baby is healthy to start. Don’t attempt while sick or teething.
• Have another caregiving partner take over if you become overly stressed.
• Try noise-canceling headphones if the cries are too agonizing.
• Offer plenty of comfort and affection to your baby in the mornings.
• Commit to at least 3-5 nights before determining if cry it out is working.

While never easy, cry it out can be an effective sleep training tactic when done correctly. Just be sure to consider your baby’s unique needs and be willing to try a different method if cry it out is resulting in extreme distress or lack of improvement.

Gradual Retreat/Fading Method

For parents not comfortable letting babies cry it out unattended, there are several gentle sleep training alternatives. The gradual retreat or fading method is one popular approach that aims to help babies learn to self-soothe without any tears.

The fading technique works by gradually moving yourself away from the baby over many nights to withdraw contact and assistance at bedtime incrementally.

When Can You Start Gradual Retreat Sleep Training?

Experts recommend introducing gradual retreat or fading between 4-6 months old. Look for these signs that indicate your baby may be ready:

• Falls asleep independently some of the time already
• Can sleep through the night or only wakes once on occasion
• Takes regular naps
• Weighs at least 12 pounds
• Eats solid foods and does not need night feeds

Starting fading too early under 4 months is not advised. And if by 6 months there is no progress with independent sleep, then cry it out may need to be considered.

How Gradual Retreat Sleep Training Works

If you want to try the no tears fading approach, follow these steps:

Follow your normal soothing bedtime routine. Give a bath, massage, read books, sing lullabies.

Sit or lie next to crib and pat or shush baby to sleep. Stay until they are fully asleep. This may take weeks or months of consistency before you can leave the room.

Move further away each night. Slowly inch your chair away, then closer to the door over time.

Leave the room once baby falls asleep independently. Once baby can fall asleep without your help, you can start leaving the room before they nod off.

Repeat for naps. Use the same fading technique for naps to practice their self-soothing skills.

The key is to gradually remove your assistance and presence so incrementally that hopefully baby does not notice and get upset. This takes a concerted effort over an extended period.

Pros and Cons of Gradual Retreat Method

Here are some upsides and downsides of using the fading or gradual retreat approach:

Pros:

• Much gentler approach than cry it out
• Avoids tears
• Baby still learns self-soothing skills eventually
• Less stressful for parents concerned about crying

Cons:

• Extremely gradual process – can take many weeks or months
• Parent must be consistent and patient
• Baby may become dependent on parent’s assistance
• Results can be inconsistent

Tips for Gradual Retreat Success

• Be patient. This technique may take a very long time.
• Remove your help and presence extremely slowly. Just inch away.
• Try during naps first if needed.
• Offer a comforting object like a stuffed animal or blanket.
• Avoid stimulating playtime before bed.

Fading takes persistence and consistency over an extended timeframe. But with patience and repetition, it can be an effective no-tears sleep training option.

Pick Up/Put Down Method

The pick up/put down method provides a middle ground between cry it out and fading, teaching self-soothing skills while still offering comfort.

This technique involves putting your baby down once asleep and immediately picking them up when they cry, repeating as many times as needed until the baby falls asleep independently.

When is Baby Ready for Pick Up/Put Down?

Experts recommend starting pick up/put down between 4-6 months old once these signs emerge:

• Falls asleep independently for some naps or occasionally overnight
• Begins self-soothing by sucking fingers or thumb
• Can sleep longer stretches of 5-6 hours
• Recognizable nap schedule
• Eats solid foods regularly

How Pick Up/Put Down Sleep Training Works

Follow these steps when using the pick up/put down method:

Establish a relaxing bedtime routine. Give baby a bath, read, sing lullabies, or whatever soothes your child.

Rock or feed baby until nearly asleep. Continue motion or feeding until their eyes begin fluttering and head gets heavy.

Put baby down in crib once asleep. Slowly detach and lay your sleeping baby down in their crib.

Pick baby up immediately if they cry. As soon as baby fusses or cries upon waking up, quickly intervene and soothe them back to sleep.

Repeat put downs and pick ups until baby sleeps independently. Keep placing baby back in crib when asleep and retrieving when upset until they sleep without your help.

The goal is to minimize crying while still teaching them to self-settle when they wake between sleep cycles overnight or during naps. Pick up/put down takes consistency and perseverance.

Pros and Cons of Pick Up/Put Down

Here are the main advantages and disadvantages of this technique:

Pros

• Minimizes crying though some tears likely
• Baby learns to self-soothe eventually
• More responsive approach for some parents

Cons:

• Very taxing on parents to continuously put down and retrieve
• Can take many nights before baby sleeps independently
• Requires extreme consistency
• Self-soothing skills may not strengthen

Tips for Pick Up/Put Down Success

• Commit to consistency above all. Stick to schedule.
• Resist urge to just keep holding baby through the night.
• Offer lovey or pacifier to comfort when putting down.
• Start during naps to practice technique.
• Use a chair next to crib when starting so less disruptive.

Pick up/put down rewards persistence and takes willpower. But with consistency over weeks or months, it can be effective for some families.

Gentler “No Tears” Sleep Training Methods

For parents extremely averse to any amount of crying from their baby, there are some alternative gentle sleep training methods. While they may take longer, these “no tears” options aim to help baby learn to sleep through the night without any distress.

Some common tactics include:

Chair method – Sit in a chair next to the crib patting, shushing or holding your baby’s hand until they fall asleep. Gradually move the chair further away each night.

Sleep lady shuffle – Lie down next to crib while patting or shushing until asleep. Leave earlier and earlier each night.

Pick up/put down – See steps explained in section above.

Camping out – Lie on floor mattress next to baby’s crib. Move further away over time.

These methods share the same gradual philosophy as fading but avoid any isolated crying since parent stays or returns quickly at any signs of distress.

When to Attempt Gentler Methods

The ideal time to initiate these no tears techniques is between 5-6 months old. Signs baby may be ready:

• Falls asleep independently for some naps
• Sleeps through night occasionally
• Weight of at least 12 lbs
• Eats solids regularly
• Comfortable playing independently

Starting too early under 4 months is not recommended. And if by 6 months no progress has been made, then allowing some crying may need to be considered.

Pros and Cons of Gentler Methods

Pros:

• No tears or distress
• Comforting approach for both baby and parent
• Gradual process teaches self-soothing

Cons:

• Very slow process – can take months
• Require extreme parental effort and consistency
• Less predictable results

Tips for Success with Gentler Methods

• Commit to consistency for potentially lengthy process
• Have reasonable expectations for gradual progress
• Try noise machine to help block disruptions
• Ensure proper daytime sleep and feedings
• Accept that staying asleep independently may take time

While gentler sleep training does not produce overnight miracles, with extraordinary consistency over weeks or months, babies can learn to sleep for lengthened periods without tears.

Additional Sleep Training Tips

Here are some final pointers to help your sleep training efforts succeed:

• Consult your pediatrician – Discuss your plan and make sure your baby is healthy enough.
• Commit fully – Inconsistency is the enemy. Follow chosen method diligently.
• Manage expectations – Some babies respond right away, others take weeks. Be patient.
• Keep wake time consistent – Set schedule for naps and overnight to regulate rhythm.
• Offer comfort object – Introduce lovey or stuffed animal to help self-soothe.
• Try during naps first – Practice independent sleep when less exhausted.
• Wait out regressions – Periodic disruptions to sleep will pass.
• Seek support if needed – Don’t be afraid to ask your partner or friends for help.

While never a linear path, with time and consistency, sleep training can help your baby sleep better and longer. Trust the process and know that independent sleep will come. Stay committed to establishing healthy sleep habits right from the start.