Self-Discovery: Who Are You and Why?
Self-discovery is a process that helps you to find your happiness and your way. Why it is necessary and how to set it in motion you can read here.
Once upon a time it was very simple. People were born, had to be careful not to die right away, and died. Then someone invented the subjunctive II and suddenly we all stand in front of the yoghurt shelf in the supermarket and can decide whether we are more the poppy seed marzipan or New York cheesecake type. No question, that is luxury. At the same time, however, the yoghurt shelf also presents us with the challenge of choosing the right one from a multitude of options. And in order not to get lost in the process, it is a good idea to take a look at the process of self-discovery.
What is self-discovery?
Self-discovery is a process in which we (ideally) get to know ourselves better, i.e. learn to feel, know and understand who we actually are.
- What am I particularly good at? Listening, giving advice, doing the splits…
- What gives me pleasure? (Helping, discipline, roller coaster ride …)
- What can I get excited and interested in? People, technology, Instagram…
- What is important to me in life? (Luxury, permanence, family…)
- How do I want to be? (honest, loyal, famous…)
A successful self-discovery process should answer these questions at least to the extent that we have an idea of what to do with our time – and choose the right yoghurt.
Of course, the answers to these questions change all the time. At the age of four we are still particularly good at somersaults, at 14 we want to be popular, and at 24 we want to see a lot of the world. Therefore, self-discovery is not a process that we will be able to finish at some point, but one that will occupy us all our lives – sometimes more intense and sometimes less intense.
Self-discovery: Why do we have to go through this?
Some people find it easy to feel who they are, and they take their yoghurt without giving it a great thought. But for many, this is not so easy and it is hardly surprising. After all, no one teaches us to find ourselves and live happily, rather we are all taught to be as equal as possible (why this is definitely not the recipe for personal happiness, you can find out in our articles “what is happiness?”, “what is man?” and “what is the meaning of life?)
We have to learn the same African capitals by heart, come to the same formulas in derivation functions and recognize the same measures in poems. Furthermore, we are shown through all available channels what is beautiful, how successful it looks like, that love must always be monogamous and what we can buy and experience great things if we earn enough money.
All this makes it difficult for us to find ourselves, because it buries our “self” under a mountain of foreign material. Before the pictorial yoghurt shelf, factors such as:
- “Oh, poppy seed marzipan is almost sold out, I’m sure it’s very good!”
- “All right, Insta is hyping New York cheesecake, I must have that too.
- “I’d love some stracciatella, but it’s in the back and I can’t reach it that easily, so I’ll have cherry.”
- “It’s amazing what fancy varieties they have. “But I prefer to stay with the good old strawberry, where I know exactly what I have…”
- “Hmm, I’d like to make my own yogurt, but it’s too much trouble…”
Of course we can also get a yoghurt that we like this way, after all, most varieties are perfectly okay. But even if we are satisfied with our decision for a while, there is a good chance that sooner or later a feeling of alienation will arise in us, which will make us restless and unhappy if we do not react to it. And at the latest (!) then the following tips for self-discovery could prove to be helpful.
Self-discovery: 9 tips to get you on track
Of course, there is no universal 20-step plan that we could simply follow to be at peace with ourselves in the end – self-discovery is there to lead us on different, individual paths. Nevertheless, we can follow certain tips that help us to get on track, for example these.
1. Trip to self-discovery
If you see any chance to travel alone for any length of time: Seize it, in the spirit of self-discovery. Hardly anything can strengthen your self-confidence and lead you to yourself better than being on your own in a strange environment and having to find your way around. It’s especially cool if you don’t have a concrete plan of what you want to do with yourself and your time, but also if you live in fixed structures (studies, internship, job …): Such a “self-discovery trip” in the literal sense of a journey is the best thing you can do to free yourself from foreign determination and predetermined paths.
2. Idle time
Just take regular time. Three hours a week with nothing to do and nothing to do. What do you do with that time? Are you immediately drawn out into the fresh air? Grab a book and read? Observe what freedom does to you and in which direction it pulls you. And then think about whether you want to follow this path more than three hours a week…
3. Experimental laboratory
The simplest and most effective way to find out what you enjoy is to try as much as possible. Get out of your comfort zone and into the adventure – until something excites you so much that you get stuck. Remember, life is not a compulsory event but a gift – and the more we try, the better we use it.
4. Critical inspiration
While your self-discovery is about you, you are neither a lonely island in the South Pacific nor are you meant to become one, so say goodbye to the illusion that you can ever stop being influenced by others. But what you can do is watch how you let yourself be influenced. If you compare yourself to others and become jealous, question your feelings. What are you jealous of? Is there a real desire behind it, is it resentment because something is missing or are you just letting yourself be carried away? Comparing yourself or being inspired by others doesn’t have to be bad, if we do it wisely – and create a new original, not a copy.
5. External perspective
Also a simple and effective way to find out more about yourself than you already know: Just ask people who know you who you are for them. Where do they see your strengths? Are you more emotional or rational in their eyes? A change of perspective can be so easy – and bring some things to light.
6. Anxiety research
Fear is one of the most powerful and valuable emotions we have – powerful because it can extremely direct and restrict us, and valuable because it shows us what is important to us. Therefore it is worthwhile to deal intensively with your fears in the course of your self-discovery. Where do they prevent you from doing something that could help you progress? Where do they protect you from putting something at risk that obviously means a lot to you? (How you can overcome fears and understand your feelings is explained in our articles).
7. Meditation
Our body and our mind are closely connected to each other, in fact they are actually one single entity. Meditation, yoga, breathing exercises – all these are therefore miracle cures to find yourself and to free yourself from ballast that prevents you from doing so.
8. Digital detox
As nice as it is to have all the available information and entertainment in your pocket at all times and to be able to reach our destination thanks to the map app on our mobile phone – the smartphone is the main distraction from the path to ourselves. Offline times or the abandonment of certain apps and channels can therefore work wonders in terms of self-discovery.
9. Journalling
Some find it banal, others don’t know how to begin, but for those who don’t write a diary, the following applies: You are missing a great and easy chance to find yourself. Two to five minutes a day are enough and what you write does not have to be thoughtful, profound or original. Just write down what’s on your mind, how you feel, what annoys you, what you’re grateful for. On the one hand, this helps you in the moment to collect and sort yourself. On the other hand, you create a valuable document for the future, in which you can read up later on how you have developed.
Self-discovery: 10 mind games to help you
In order to really make progress, you need to integrate self-discovery (e.g. with the help of these tips) into your life and be active. But for the beginning or in between for orientation you can also just sit down and take time for a thought game – sometimes such games bring very interesting insights to light. It is important that you do not make too realistic demands on your imagination and that you raise or lower the barriers in your head so that you can think freely. Accordingly, you have to evaluate the results: They show you tendencies and extremes you can orientate yourself by, but they are not direct instructions for action. If necessary, you can also do the following fantasy experiments with a person of your trust.
1. What would you take to a desert island?
Choose three things or people that are so important to you that you would never do without them – even though they may not even guarantee your survival.
2. What would 10-year-old me like to hear?
Imagine meeting at the age of ten. What would you have to tell this child what you do as an adult to make it shine on you with enthusiasm?
3. What superpower would you like to have and what would you do with it?
Flying? Muscles of steel? Mind reading? What would be your superpower and what would you use it for?
4. What would you do with 10 trillion euros?
Sweet dreams…
5. What’s on your “can’t be done” list?
What would you never want to do? Where would you definitely not want to live? In what circles would you never want to live? No-Gos are often easier to find than Wanna-Dos – but still meaningful.
6. What would you do if you only had four weeks to live?
Not the prettiest idea, but how would your last four weeks look…
7. What role would you play in a team of survivors after the zombie apocalypse?
Leader? Optimist? Worry box? What are your natural strengths that would come to the surface if everything was needed?
8. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
More like the gentle, loyal elephant? The socially competent wolf? Or a carefree jellyfish? In which animal life would you feel most comfortable and what attracts you to it?
9. Let me get this straight. What would you do?
What would your life look like if you were reborn or re-started?
10. On your deathbed: What memory makes you fall asleep in peace?
What would you like to be able to remember when you die so that you can leave with the feeling that it was good and that you are ready?