3 Tricks on How Children Learn to Wait

Do you want your child to learn to wait? It is better – because patience will make his later life much easier. With these three expert tricks, your child learns to wait calmly instead of fidgeting tense!

If you are patient as a child, you will most likely master your life more successfully. This has long been proven by long-term studies, the marshmallow test being a prime example.

Now probably very few mothers cry out joyfully and refer to their sugar-sweet child with its angel patience. In truth, it seems to be a book with seven seals how to teach a child patience (especially if you don’t have much of it up your sleeve).

Waiting is a skill that can be learned, which almost every child is capable of. But it also depends on age: On average

• a child of about 1.5 years old should wait about 30 seconds.
• a 2.5 year old child wait about two minutes.
• a 3 to 5 year old child wait about 15 minutes.

No (small) child must be expected to do more than that. With these 3 tricks your child learns to wait:

1. Talk to the child

How can it be so simple?! And how! At an age between 6 months and 1.5 years, the child is already reacting to mummy’s voice.

Imagine your child is sleeping peacefully in bed and you want to take advantage of the moment to take a quick shower, wash your hair or simply hang up the laundry in peace. Suddenly your child starts to scream. What do you do?

Most mothers would rush to the baby right away. Some exhausted mothers would let the child scream without comment. And as so often, the right behaviour is in the golden mean!

Experts advise to answer the baby immediately – but not to drop everything and run to the baby. Toddlers may not yet understand every word you say. But they can recognise voice (mummy), pitch (soothing) and intonation (friendly).

The voice alone calms the child, because he knows: I hear mummy, she is there and will come soon. At the same time the baby has a chance to regulate itself.

Many experts advise mothers: “Trust your instincts!” It also means: It depends on the reason why the baby is crying. If he has a fever or is hungry, he should of course be kept as little as possible waiting. But if he is crying out of boredom, he can wait a little longer – a few minutes, depending on his age. It is important to talk to the child while he or she is away. Words can work wonders – even for babies!

2. Offer your child alternatives!

When children learn to crawl, run and climb, they naturally want to apply their newly acquired knowledge. They set out into the big wide world – the home – and touch everything that is not nailed down: glasses, sockets, plants and similar things.

If you stand next to them and constantly repeat a “No!”, the children often experience their first little tantrums. No wonder, after all it is quite frustrating to be kept from exploring!

Experts advise parents to observe the child during the exploratory tour and not always to say “No!” when there is danger, but to offer alternatives. As soon as the child reaches for the precious vase, mummy can offer the nipper an alternative, draw his attention to something else: maybe a book that is nearby (and less fragile than the vase)? Or a toy that is handy?

As soon as the child does what mummy wants, he should be praised. Basically the following applies to children, men and animals: Praise works better than punishment!

3. Promise a reward!

Getting the child used to routines is half the battle. This includes, for example, remaining seated at the dining table until the rest of the family has had enough. How do you teach this to a child (preferably from the age of 3)?

At this age children understand short, clear announcements. They understand explanations such as “We all stay at the table because it’s nice to sit together and chat.” Of course, you should involve the child in an existing conversation so that it doesn’t get bored.

If this doesn’t work out right away, you can lure the child with a reward: “If you stay sitting now, you’ll get dessert!”or “When we’re all done, we can play together. Many children are convinced by the prospect of a reward alone (which, of course, parents must keep to in order to gain or strengthen the child’s confidence).

If you have tried all this and your child is still an impatient ball, don’t despair: Patience is partly a question of genes…